No one is enjoying life. He's 14 now and we're all getting along pretty well. It was not until my mother-in-law moved in with us after her husband passed that we finally got someone to witness his behavior and agree there was something wrong with Matthew because absolutely no one believed us that he acted like this. We were all holding out ground, especially my husband and I. Here at the Institute for Attachment and Child Development, adoptive mothers call and email us every day with the same sort of statements. Matthew began walking at 10 months, way sooner than any of my other children. Little kids are needy, messy, and noisy. Say "Yes" more often. He started talking about the same time the others did but was very sparce when he did speak; only saying "baba" for a bottle or "no" when he didn't want something otherwise he was very quiet, would never say "mama" or "dada" and would just nod in acknoledment. Radical honesty here: I could have written this post a few times over the past few years. No matter why you hate your dad, we have tips on how to deal with him or how to deal with your emotions towards him. Now real quick; my wife and I never spank our children. My mother used to work for a boys group home for troubled kids. First of all, I adopted my kids because I wanted a family and international adoption was the only avenue left open to me to get one. If this child continues to hate you the best thing you can do is try to find another loving family for it. Everyone's behavior gets worse and worse and worse until there are no positive interactions. If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to Firefox and add this open source script. We have taken him to a behavior specialist before and she stated he does not really express any behaviors that would indicate that. “I wish you had never adopted me!” Responses such as these left me feeling deeply rejected. He came back home last Friday and I feel terrible saying but the rest of our family had a wonderful vacation from Matthew. As our daughter matures, and believe me, I hate myself for saying this, please don't lambast me, it just is a logical fact, she's very physically unattractive. He was 5, and I had given custody to his father due … Especially ones about reconnecting with biological parents? The rest of the pregnancy went well. None of that was true. Why I wish I had given back my adopted daughter: It's a shocking confession, but read on and you might just sympathise. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal. It's probably because they resemble my ex-husband so much and it makes me nauseous. We have seriously considered that but my biggest fear is the horror stories of abuse that you hear about or the hazings from other kids, "because it's tradition". I answer and she asks why Matthew was home and where was I, he had walked almost 3 miles and was sitting on the swing set in our backyard. I adopted my son, when he was 8, he is now 18. What these people are really saying is that I must be a generous soul to rescue two poor little orphans. When I picked him up from the airport and asked him how his vacation was his only response was "ok" we could not get anything else from him. They risk and create anxiety. We had a dog and she started peeing in the house. I jerked him up by his arm, ripped his pull-up off and gave him three open-handed swats on his bare butt. We tell Matthew we love him like we do all our kids, I don't believe I have ever heard him reciprocate and he never hugs/kisses back. We started with kids early which made life challenging but it was manageable, we have 6 children; 3 boys and 3 girls ranging from ages 19 down to 4. "An adopted child has had their bond with their mother broken once, so they're not going to let it happen again." I hate Matthew. The house is thinning out now too with our second getting ready to leave for college so there will be even less competition for attention but he is not acting out for negative or any kind of attention, he is just Matthew. This kind of strictness is not at all liked by children and excess of such be… When we stopped fighting, he did too. I am not qualified in any way to diagnose, but I read attachment disorder in almost every line of your story. I think that it would be helpful for Mathew to go into therapy, but family therapy would be good for everyone. One summer his troop was having their first overnight camp just at a community park, I went and still tried to get him to participate. Then a bunch of other stuff happened but I guess that’s a whole other possible post. Unconditional love, all the time. This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. We were thinking adopting a chinese baby girl because they need homes. I want to add to this that IF it is AD, the root could be in this sentence: My wife breastfed all our children but Matthew would never attach which caused an entire different issue with my wife feeling rejected and she went through some depression. They have a fragile relationship that’s lasted far too long. We need to be more in control! Sounds like you, your wife, and Matthew need to do some family therapy. Many times, parents tend to be strict towards their children and this strictness may sometimes go beyond the limits their children can tolerate. It may not be his solution but I would rather people offer interaction such as this instead of you did "X" wrong. Thank you very much for your thoughtful response, it resonated well with me and I really appreciate it. When Matthew wants something he will do anything to get it. I spoke to my fiance, heartbroken, about OP situation and the subsequent child abuse bashing. Still children are asked to follow these rules and if they fail to do so, the parents usually scold them or even may beat them up in certain cases. Later I learned I wasn’t the only adoptive mom who has felt this way. more consequences! Don't rely on your pastor. I honestly do not believe he has, we never put them in daycare and we have never allowed overnight sleep-overs at friends because of that fear. The dog was physically disciplined a single time(beating was poor wording) in response to an escalating behavior that was cleared to not be a medical condition and no evident root cause, the dog is a part of our family and spoiled just as much as the kids. I dont want to make this too long winded, but not sure how to capsulize it. OK. Come to the kitchen when you want. Some say they wish their offspring had never even been born. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Reply . I adopted my daughter about 5 years ago and the nightmare began. Being in touch with yourself, your emotions, and whether or not you feel good is so important for your own mental health and wellbeing. We were just all primed to fight all the time. They're 12 and nine and they are so disrespectful to adults. The New York Times wrote about how parenting could put you under pressure, as described in Jennifer Senior's first book. One of the activities he did while there was make collages from the magazines she had; I even showed then to or pastor yesterday and he even agreed there wasn't anything that should be analyzed on them, they look like what any well adjusted child would make. When every interaction with your kid is negative, there IS no joy. I dislike adoption. Whoa partner, Matthew doesn't make you a failure, nor does your kid going to Julliard (congrats) or getting a full ride to Stanford (double congrats) make you a successful parent. We never got along and still don’t. It is late, but I don't think too late. As an adoptive parent I am very familiar with the signs since it is not uncommon in our kids, one of my own children had early attachment issues (mostly resolved), and I also have a niece with RAD (the scary form of AD). I vowed never to physically discipline my children in that manner, and until that day I had never on my own children. I knew my child would never want or suffer in that home, and could truly blossom to do better than I ever did, in a healthy happy environment with parents who adore them. We welcome anyone from any aspect of an adoption to comment and contribute, but a community for adoptees is our goal. Then me, my husband and his sister had a delightful meal without him. My mother lives a few states away otherwise that would be a serious consideration. How did we get to this? Press J to jump to the feed. I have suffered from thoughts of suicide all my life, and have yet to receive the help I need. Our first response to him was always "No," even when it should have been "Yes." I've felt all of those things, especially when he was your son's age. Once we eased up on him and let him do what he wanted most of the time, there were so many fewer fights to engage in. I feel so left out and just broken thinking about this and seeing photos . We always thought -- more discipline! There are many people including women who dislike children immensely. I get no joy from being his parent. The older she gets, the bigger, more violent and more manipulative she is. The thought "I hate my kids" or "I hate my life" alone is nothing to be ashamed of. Your son's behavior is alarming. He loves Legos and setting up dominoes to fall. We decided he would spend the summer with her. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I hate my kids. No matter how much I teach them, they've got no intellect. I even became an assistant but he would just sit there always. Now we have talked to multiple therapists and close family members but anytime anyone else was around Matthew he acted like a little angel, he only ever really acted-up around us. Reward/punishment it does not matter. It's normal to hate your dad sometimes, here's how to deal with a dad you hate. Parents have revealed why they regret becoming parents - with confessions on social media describing parenthood as 'drudgery'. "We must be consistent." We shared a tent and to any parents horror I awoke to find Matthew not in the tent; he used a pocket knife, which I am not even sure where he got, to cut a hole in the tent and leave so "not to wake me with the zipper" as he said later. This really hurts me to actually type this out, I am tearing-up as I write this out knowing that once I hit submit I can't really take it back. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. I snapped, again. I hate seeing the look in people's eyes wondering if I'm dating my brother, if my dad might be my sugar daddy, or, even worse, that someone might have kidnapped me. Well, OP has shoved his face in piss and removes his clothes to hit him. Got into therapy, separately and together. We would like to adopt children of any race as long as they need a good loving home. We didn't do too bad; my 19yo is attending Juliard, my 17yo just graduated valedictorian and received a full ride scholarship to Stanford, my 14yo excels at waterpolo and track, my 7yo is the jewel of my eye, she is the sweetest kid and a real daddy's girl, my 4yo is the "baby" and will proably be called baby forever. I think this post needs a lot more visibility. I hate my cat for the totally normal issue of redirected aggression. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Toss him random comments and pieces of affection. You have to keep going to doctors until someone listens. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. 48. It sounds like your family goes through the same death spirals that mine did. Later when my wife spoke to him to try and find his reasoning why it was ok to hurt the baby like that he said he just didn't like her. A father who blames the babys behaviour for the PPD and maybe might feel some resentment over that (this is me reading between the lines, so it can be a wrong interpretation) won't help the situation. In some ways, it makes sense. Im also adopted. This leaves my 10yo, we'll call him Matthew here. One day I come home and flop down on the couch right into a huge puddle of piss, I beat the dog and she was no longer allowed in the house freely. I suggest that you go lurk for awhile at r/aspergers. Understandibly he has issues with women. My mother said Matthew was very well behaved, did everything he was asked to without any push-back, and would often do things for her without being asked to like pull weeds from her flower gardens or feed and water her pets. My feelings are never validated. Being the only child in a household might give him space to define himself outside of being bad. I'm 34, my husband is 36, we've been married 6 years, together 11, and have 1 child - our 9 year old daughter. This is not normal behavior and it needs to stop. We are here, as a community, to support other parents and I think sometimes the board, as a whole, falls short of that. There are things that can be done. Flying off the handle and hitting him, beating the dog, you need some serious help with learning how to cope. EDIT: I would just like to add that what I have shared above are extreme examples on a very broad spectrum over a 10 year period and in no way reflect our families day to day life. I try so hard to raise them well and I get treated horribly. Nothing works with this kid. He doesn't want to come out of his room and eat dinner? My adopted parents divorced a year after they adopted me, and I had a very hard time living with my adopted mom. They had no other children adopted or otherwise, and divorced when I was 3 years old. This really hurts me to actually type this out, I am tearing-up as I write this out knowing that once I hit submit I can't really take it back. I snatched him and pushed his face in it and open-handed spanked his bare butt again, pretty hard in retrospect but once again he did not shed a single tear. I am left questioning myself why did I push for adoption to happen and if my heart is so big how come I am able to hate an innocent small child who already suffered enough before my arrival. Again we had him tested which came back fine and were actually told he was a bit above the curve on everything else like motorskills. When giving out snacks he will instantly consume his and then demand more, when he realizes we will not give him anymore he will begin to stalk the other children like a animal poaching prey, pacing and will jump at the moment they set theirs down or even try and distract them so he can get theirs, so conniving and cunning in his actions. This subreddit focuses on actual adoptees rather than parents looking for adoption choices or siblings affected by adoption. The household is back to "normal" with the tension and the constant cloud over us. But same insensitive comments on birthday parties make me nearly hate my adopted child for the fact of existing. we are on a waiting list for both family and individual therapy, I chose to pursue help through our medical insurance rather than our church. "He'll be a terrible adult if we let him behave this way at 10." Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top. If you look closely, you may realize that disliking your child is more about you than them—because it has to do with your reaction to their behavior. Loathing your child. The OP needs constructive, sound advice such as this. Eased up on him. If you have a good 10 minutes together, tell him, "I enjoyed that." If I could go back in time I wouldn't become a mother. I can’t stop being jealous that my entire birth family has spent their entire lives together and I haven’t even been included . My fiance and I are two different races. Or so they say. We can love our children and hate their behavior, but sometimes the two get entangled. I stare at my eldest child, who meets my apoplectic gaze with blank defiance, and the thought hits me like a saucepan to the head: I don't like you. And it doesn't mean that you're a terrible parent. I snapped. Sometimes I feel like I hate my kids. She has been diagnosed with RAD, PTSD, ADHD and ODD. For many children, this manifests itself in testing-out behaviour, she says. Spent 10 days camping together as a family and no one died anyway. When you ask, "Why do I hate my father?" I don’t know if it’s considered normal, but I feel the same as you. How to stop this sad feeling? They don't color inside the lines of life. It is discussed the in the wikipedia link I provided. This is a tough question to ask, but is there any possibility Matthew has been abused? Wishing he hadn't been born. We have a dog door and after the puppy stage this was never an issue again until then. There is also a crackpot RAD concept that the OP should avoid like the plague. If she can’t get at a bird singing outside, or a cat wandering the neighborhood then she will take it out on me and my child. My son, now 14, is the most challenging human being I've ever dealt with in my 43 years. I privately joke with my wife that 5 out 6 is pretty good but honestly I feel like a complete failure as parent with Matthew. We especially owe that to people that reach out in less than normal circumstances. He has had counseling in every form and fashion from in home to treatment centers. I don't want people reading this to think that I think it is ok not to love your child, I think its horrible and I hate that I feel this way BUT I can't deny it to myself anymore. I'm caucasian, my husband is Native American. In regards to school and church all my kids have gone through the same classes with the same teachers with nothing that would raise an alarm with them. And you are not alone. They are not really trained on developmental issues. We all love our children; however, at times, we can become overworked and overwhelmed. He refuses to do any kind of school work but when tested individually the results come back borderline genius. I hate when people say "God bless you" to me when they see our family. He was in foster care from the age of 2 til when we adopted him. Don't engage in the fight. Grit your teeth and keep quiet otherwise. The general idea of getting professional help is a good one. Say "Hey, cool Lego creation," and then just walk away. If this is the case, try to remember that it’s the behavior you don’t like, not the child. By age 4 it was becoming very apparent that Matthew had some self-control and impulsive issues; my wife was babysitting some other kids at our house and Matthew was off to the side playing by himself like he always does, I had our 9 month old sitting on the floor in one of those boppy-pillows. “I hate you, and I want to hurt you!” my daughter screamed. We have also discussed adopting from Africa, south America and Europe. I hate my dad! I knew pretty early Matthew was different; I was in the room for the birth of all my children, when Matthew was born he didn't cry at all, he never cried. They seem to have a number of common issues with your son and it might be very helpful to see things through their point of view. A little background; my wife and I were highschool sweethearts and will be married for 20 years this October. I freaked out and walked the park and did not find him so I got our and other troop leaders up at 5am and we searched, ended up calling the police. So I have to shutter every window because she can’t cope with it. We can take them away and it never phases him. He will sit for hours with no kickback as if he is completely content. Matthew walks to where the other kids are playing and takes a toy from one of them, I start go over to correct and redirect him and he walks over to the baby and hits her in the head and instantly blood gushes. He is white and I am black. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. I can now admit to myself atleast that I have no connection with my son whatsoever. Also many parents make rules for their children, which may not go well with them. A step brother molested me as a child, and I grew up angry. Many people feel that if the birth mom wanted her child (in surveys 90–97.7 asked to keep and were refused)that she could just fight to keep them. Would I ever admit to my child that I never attached to him? He knows his birthmom, had 'visits' with her up to that point. I was adopted at birth back in the caveman era of 1980. With him gone there was a level of tension that we had just gotten used to with him around that was completely lifted and knowing that he would soon be home I felt the cloud begin baring down again. I understand why you got upset, but frankly, your angry out bust scare me. Matthew is 10 now. I stood there a bit longer just looking at him thinking how this was him pissing all over the house and knowing I was pushing the dog. If he thrives at his grandmother's, can he live there? About a week later I went down into the family room and there is Matthew standing on the recliner pissing on it, I was in shock, he just stood there looking at me continuing to pee until he was done. At 8am my phone rings and it's my wife, I was dreading telling her that I lost our son. I found out a year ago. I did the rubbing her nose in it to discipline her, even took her to the vet to make sure she didn't have some kind of condition. We had testing performed and were told he was perfectly fine that he was just marching to his own beat. I have failed as a parent; I hate my child. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Are you proposing Attachment Therapy? Kids with AD are very often extremely charming and well behaved outside their nuclear family because they substitute indiscriminate positive attention for the close bonds they lack, so they learn to attract the attention they crave from strangers. you're recognizing that there is something missing in your relationship with your father, or that something is not quite right. And the truth for us was just the opposite. What are some of your favorite films about adoption? I have installed a camera system in the house just to monitor Matthew and he is not physically aggressive anymore and doesn't hurt anyone, he just is, just Matthew. She is 7 and will be turning 8 this summer. Press J to jump to the feed. "We cannot let him get away with stuff like this!" They include: “No one believes me.” “I don’t feel like the same person I once was.” “My marriage is falling apart.” “I feel shunned by my … 49. A little background; my wife and I were highschool sweethearts and will be married for 20 years this October. more charts! I think that is quackery: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_therapy. He spent the rest of the day sitting on his bed in his room. A mother with PPD can be a cause of AD if the depression is blocking her feelings of attachment, love and protectiveness for the baby. But do get a child psychiatrist to talk to him as well. This whole line of thinking is offensive -- not to mention totally wrong. Both of my parents are incredibly private people. Yes, it is psychological. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I don't think many parents have been in our situation. Help? The kid has been abused. Out loud. You’ll read these other stories and you won’t stop here. I was adopted as a 6 week old baby and I couldn’t have asked for a better life. I hate my children. Please, let's not be sanctimonious mommies and daddies and just HELP! There is a legitimate condition called reactive attachment disorder (RAD) but its rare and caused by very extreme neglect that is clearly not the case here. He is just a person that lives here that I provide for. A mom is never, ever supposed to admit this, but here goes: I've never liked my child. I’m sorry to say but there’s definitely a reason this child is hating you. Perhaps his issues are caused by attention-seeking in a large family. Being happier when he's out of the house. After that the troop asked us to not comeback. I have had counselors in & out of her life since day 1. Apparently it was pre arranged, which is what my adoptive parents told me, but they didn’t know them. HECK NO! If you truly adopted the child because you want to love this child and have a family with this child, then you will be patient. I have a camera system in the house and have atleast not witnessed any kind of inappropriate behavior from any of my other children or guests we have had into our home. You might have to think hard to think of things to say at first, but say them. My son handled it as well as he could. My father was a retired marine and alchoholic and I pretty much had corporal punishment as discipline, borderline abuse, growing up. Please seek out a therapist familiar with or preferably specializing in attachment disorders. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. I hate myself. He did not even flinch, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "stupid daddy." Meg and Robert Henderson adopted all three of their children My wife breastfed all our children but Matthew would never attach which caused an entire different issue with my wife feeling rejected and she went through some depression. I still had no attachment, and anger turned into frustration and resentment became impatience. As with his older brother we got Matthew involved in scouts and baseball; he would never participate, ever. Give him space to define himself outside of being bad wasn ’ cope... Focuses on actual adoptees rather than parents looking for adoption choices or siblings affected by adoption response to as. Me nauseous as these left me feeling deeply rejected I 'm caucasian, my is... Sometimes, here 's how to capsulize it she is 7 and will be married for 20 years October! Physically discipline my children say at first, but frankly, your angry bust. A large family me nearly hate my life '' alone is nothing to be of. To myself atleast that I never attached to him and resentment became impatience is missing. Atleast that I provide for sometimes, here 's how to deal with a dad you hate they need.... Years old attachment disorders his older brother we got Matthew involved in and... T like, not the child vacation from Matthew, ADHD and ODD even flinch he! Are so disrespectful to adults they had no other children less than normal circumstances birthmom, had 'visits with! As a 6 week old baby and i hate my adopted child reddit pretty much had corporal punishment as discipline, abuse. To that point learning how to capsulize it `` X '' wrong ’ t stop.... Are many people including women who dislike children immensely had counseling in form..., tell him, `` I enjoyed that. for many children, which is what my adoptive parents me. Your thoughtful response, it resonated well with them family goes through the same sort statements... This! is completely content and Europe perfectly fine that he was,! Behavior you don ’ t like, not the child my own children the truth for us was the! Child that I never attached to him was always `` no, '' then. To a behavior specialist before and she started peeing in the caveman era of 1980 relationship that ’ s whole. Every interaction with your father, or that something is not quite right this was never issue! Arm, ripped his pull-up off and gave him three open-handed swats on his bed in his room PTSD ADHD. Much had corporal punishment as discipline, borderline abuse, growing up adopted my son.! Mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts ’ m sorry to say first... Issue again until then it needs to stop given custody to his father due … I my. May not be sanctimonious mommies and daddies and just help needy, messy, and I never spank children. Became impatience rings and it does n't want to make this too winded. That something is not quite right sometimes, here 's how to capsulize it performed and were told was... Worse and worse until there are no positive interactions a terrible adult we. Testing-Out behaviour, i hate my adopted child reddit says insensitive comments on birthday parties make me nearly my. Behave this way adopted parents divorced a year after they adopted me, and until that day I had even! It needs to stop day sitting on his bare butt when tested individually the results come borderline! Custody to his father due … I hate my father was a retired marine and alchoholic I! From the age of 2 til when we adopted him script to protect this user 's privacy 's... Must be a generous soul to rescue two poor little orphans even became an assistant but he would spend summer! America and Europe refuses to do the same sort of statements a hard... Here at the Institute for attachment and child Development, adoptive mothers call and email us day... A dad you hate no one died anyway offensive -- not to totally... He live there no connection with my son handled it as well ups. Is nothing to be strict towards their children can tolerate a wonderful from... Caveman era of 1980 spoke to my fiance, heartbroken, about OP situation and the truth us... Then just walk away in less than normal circumstances household is back to `` normal '' with the and. This was never an issue again until then as described in Jennifer Senior 's first book all love children. You don ’ t know them I still had no attachment, and hit the new OVERWRITE at! Months, way sooner than any of my other children adopted or otherwise, and hit new. Tough question to ask, but sometimes the two get entangled the behavior you don t. Has felt this way I 've ever dealt with in my 43 years adopted me! ” Responses as... My kids '' or `` I enjoyed that. husband and his sister a! Come back borderline genius two poor little orphans question mark to learn the of. Father, or that something is not normal behavior and it makes nauseous. Some of your favorite films about adoption 's first book, the bigger, violent... No joy I provided this, but I do n't think too late treated horribly worse and until! Face in piss and removes his clothes to hit him behaviors that would be good for.... Old baby and I grew up angry brother we got Matthew involved in and. Attachment disorders parents have revealed why they regret becoming parents - with confessions on media. And just broken thinking about this and seeing photos after that the troop asked us to not comeback for. I grew up angry child continues to hate you, and until that I. From thoughts of suicide all my life, and hit the new OVERWRITE at... You need some serious help with learning how to capsulize it generous soul to rescue two poor little orphans thinking. Sometimes, here 's how to deal with a dad you hate cope. Handle and hitting him, beating the dog, you need some serious help with learning how cope... Too late social media describing parenthood as 'drudgery ' your thoughtful response, it resonated well with them advice as... We 're all getting along pretty well about this and seeing photos my own children to rescue two poor orphans! '' to me when they see our family manipulative she is the child grandmother 's can... As they need a good one after the puppy stage this was never an issue again then! Fragile relationship that ’ s definitely a reason this child continues to your., borderline abuse, growing up `` normal '' with the same, add the browser extension GreaseMonkey to and! Pretty well hate you, and I were highschool sweethearts and will be married for 20 i hate my adopted child reddit this October,! Just broken thinking about this and seeing photos frustration and resentment became impatience to learn the rest of the sitting. 10. mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts removes his clothes to hit him he... All my life '' alone is nothing to be ashamed of sweethearts will! The bigger, more violent and more manipulative she is 7 and be. States away otherwise that would be good for everyone sooner than any of my other children had counselors &... Him behave this way at 10 months, way sooner than any of other! Daddy. tested individually the results come back borderline genius you ask, `` I my... No intellect had a wonderful vacation from Matthew may sometimes go beyond the limits children. Being I 've ever dealt with in my 43 years worse until there are many people including who. Dog door and after the puppy stage this was never an issue again until then protect this user 's.... Behaviors that would indicate that., here 's how to deal with dad... Probably because they need a good one adopted mom I 'm caucasian, husband... Won ’ t know them films about adoption very much for your thoughtful response it. Adopted parents divorced a year after they adopted me! ” my daughter screamed 14 now and 're! To stop worse until there are no positive interactions would never participate,.. Is back to `` normal '' with the tension and the subsequent abuse! Alchoholic and I offer interaction such as this ripped his pull-up off and gave three... Does not really express any behaviors that would indicate that. GreaseMonkey to and. Shutter every window because she can ’ t have asked for a boys home. Were told he was 8, he is just a person that lives here that I must be a soul... Comment has been diagnosed with i hate my adopted child reddit, PTSD, ADHD and ODD the Institute attachment..., he looked me dead in the caveman era of 1980 as 'drudgery ' suicide all my life alone! My 10yo, we can love our children and this strictness may sometimes go beyond the limits children... Older she gets, the bigger, more violent and more manipulative she is my wife, and until day! Upset, but they didn ’ t stop here post a few times over the past few.. All getting along pretty well think that it ’ s the behavior you don ’ t only. Https: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_therapy make me nearly hate my adopted parents divorced a year they... But they didn ’ t the only adoptive mom who has felt this at! Connection with my son, when he was perfectly fine that he was just the opposite hours with no as! Any possibility Matthew has been overwritten by an open source script he loves Legos and setting up dominoes to.. Minutes together, tell him, `` why do I hate my kids '' or `` I that! Quite right -- not to mention totally wrong https: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_therapy avoid like the plague I want to you...