Very violent and you are scared to be in my own house. But now I'm in graduate school and I find that even when I'm depressed I can still force myself to do school work and do well. What shall we do?” Your child will feel his wish is being acknowledged, and he has some power because he is involved in the problem solving. Each time you call the police they have to do a referral to the social workers to get them involved. Tells her she's fat,says she makes noises when she eats and that nobody likes her. May 2, 2018 #1 Hi , these difficulties seems to have started from Christmas. He now eats at the table at meal times and even leaves the house to see friends. He controls every part of the house. Overshadowed Grief. Teens become easily frustrated when their parents fail to comprehend the tornado of hormones, pressures, and developing independence in which they find themselves swirling. I set limits and give consequences for bad behaviors. I am at the point where I don't want him in my house anymore! That is absolutely understandable and you and your DD do not deserve to bear the brunt of whatever it is your DS is going through. I would rather live with DV than this. My son received nothing but love, fun, and support. Today was the first time my 25 yrs old daughter ever hit me, Iam 52 yrs old. There are so many questions in my head which I can’t find answers for. Pardon The Dust On Our Portal! He came with me to make sure I said I was jumped sick he stood there with the mask. Adjusting to Their Independence Treat them like a teen, not a child or adult. And instill everyone chose to protect him. Let us know how you get on. If she has a science project due, she may ask you to race out immediately and get her some poster board. Your child’s extended family situation 5. Be aware too, that even though teens can seem so mature at times, they are not fully grown. She said he was fine and there were no mental health problems to worry about but this is not normal behaviour. If he's a particular breed then try to rehome him through a breed specific rescue otherwise get in touch with a local rescue or one of the larger rescue groups. He is ok when he want to behave but he can also flip to being pure mean and nasty.. I can't wait for my rude, sulky and generally unpleasant 17-year-old to leave home for university. I have bipolar, depression, severe anxiety, and ptsd. I need a word. On the outside he portrayed a good kid...but at home was a psychopath. Perhaps that's also something to think about...especially with the knock effect on your DD in mind. X Trustworthy Source Child Mind Institute Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families Go to source Unlike adults, adolescents are actually biologically prone to sleeping in later and waking up in the mid morning, … The school nurse visited several months ago and asked a member of the mental health team to come out and visit. 4 yrs ago I was not medicated and was going out of my mind. If you say no immediately, the teenager will feel enraged that you have all the power. Teens become easily frustrated when their parents fail to comprehend the tornado of hormones, pressures, and developing independence in which they find themselves swirling. There is no break, she is either jealous of other people, stomping around being selfish or getting involved where she isn't wanted. Nice to read about other parents with teenage daughter's that make u can't stand being around.I'm a 40 yr. old father of a 17 year old that hate's me and my wife.My 40 year old wife has Mastatistic breast cancer in her lungs.It come back from 08'.Trying to stay strong for her and trying to keep daughter on a straight path with school.Thanks for having post for me to read and not feel alone. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. My life is hell daily. I had to go to school with a blast and blue face I mean it was the whole lot . I read books, listen to speakers, and nothing worked...if anything all of the resources made it my fault...my son harmed a girl... and when I went to the school and the authorities...they turned a blind eye... and because he lied so much I started recording and documenting everything. She is a straight A honors student, but does not have many ongoing friendships. I've travelled the world with him, we used to be best friends and have so much fun together. My teen is a 16yo boy who was adopted at birth. For this, one of the best things you can do is find yourself an immediate, complete distraction. My teenage daughter has become angry, ... She is always angry and argumentative and talks very disrespectfully, mainly to me: we can’t even have a decent conversation any more. Parents often struggle to cope with the transformation of their sweet, loving children into seemingly prickly and oppositional teenagers. Yes, I miss him and my family...but slowly I am starting to realize that I am only missing the hope of what could have been. My DD is 4 my DS is 3 and I'm 20 weeks with my third that I'm now regretting. Here, our family counsellors share their top tips on how to cope Therefore, it's best to avoid giving your child an endless list of instructions, barking commands at him, or engaging in a running critique of him. Are you crazy?” or saying no immediately, open up a dialogue. Or maybe you’re saying to yourself, “I don’t want to hear about my daughter’s boyfriend anymore. I too had knives under my pillow, and was a hostage in my own home for years... our dedicated tween and teen content section, Parentline family support and bullying helpline | Family Lives. Some people simply feel like something's off, but can't picture what's wrong. Avoid infantilizing your teen. While teenagers are pushing against the system in their search for independence, as parents you can feel rejected, criticised and confused. Teens feel insecure and hate feeling controlled. If you're keen to compare notes with other parents of a tweenager or teenager, post here to get advice and support. Sooner or later, most of us who try to cope with depression feel so overwhelmed that all we can hold onto is: I just can’t do it. Spend time with your teen. Even though your teen constantly seems to want distance and keeps pushing you away, she still wants your love and attention. It is best to establish a family policy whereby members knock on the door and not barge into each other's rooms. I finally ran away in October. My spirit is beyond crushed... at times life has no purpose... but no one deserves to be abused by anyone...so why are mums expected to tolerate abuse from our kids? Your first step is to do anything you can to stop your anxiety right now, at the moment. This means a social worker will consider your child’s situation in more detail. In essence, I find out what mistake they’ve made; I often share a story about how I struggled with it; I relate why it’s important to something my kids find important; and then I let my kids talk about how they would do something different and we have a discussion. Establishing a set time for a short meeting once a week to work on a large issue such as college applications, will lower your anxiety and reduce the feeling that you need to nag him to get anything done. But I will give you a thought. I'm autistic/ADHD, I spent my whole childhood, teenage hood as a mute silent kid daydreaming away in my own world, barely present and aware of what was happening around me. We’ve Got Depression All Wrong. I'm a nervous wreck when kids are about. Most teenagers may appear lazy or distracted, when in fact, they are often sleep deprived. They caused me depression and anxiety and even occasionally hurt me. My son received nothing but love, fun, and support. cope with phrase. When “I can’t” comes rushing out, it feel like the response to an accusation. I’m writing this from my personal experience as a depressed teenager, then young adult, but I really hope it might help you. If You Struggle With Anxiety, This Mind Trick Will Change Your Life | Mel Robbins - Duration: 4:17. I made sure to give him and his sister the best childhoods kids would want. But when she gets in her rages I can't help thinking it's my fault she has turned out the way she has. but the bottom line is, he is 17 and you can't force him, if he hasn't been raised to have respect and do the right thing. All I know is this is wrong to know your son could seriously harm others and you tell him can you not do tbat you really hurt her he will say yes then he will do it again next time even harder. If she enjoys playing games, set up an hour or two on a specific night for a family game night. I can't cope with my 18 year old son anymore. Listen to his requests. This has been going on for years. It’s the feeling that you can’t cope. What has been tried before 4. ... Can't cope with 16 year old son anymore. 'My teenage son is a nightmare. You can say, “I hear you. He dropped me to the floor and sat on my arms and hands and punched me repeatedly in the face I could not defend myself it was how he knew to to sit a certain way so I could not move them. Walking in unannounced leads to unnecessary battles. My son had 2 different personalities. At my previous job, I … Do I just give up on him?' It is awful. I monitor what I say so it doesn't start him I now can't risk having friends in with there younger kids. I'm at a loss as to how to cope with my 15-year-old daughter. A new theory aims to make sense of it all. What can I do phone police and say he's dangerous or my is DV me it sounds strange as it's usually a partner but to be honest I don't like saying son as that's it not him I don't know what that is all I know is it's going to come down to me or him. My sister hasn't officially been diagnosed but its obvious to everyone. Your Housing and financial situation like are there benefits you are eligible f… yet i get in trouble when I act like a normal teenager. If your child is acting out, you might have tried to tell your parents, other relatives, or friends about it in the beginning. This is actually part of the natural process that begins at birth. What Citizen Science Tells Us, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, What Dogs Can Teach You about Your Own Personality, No, Dark Personalities Aren't Always "Master Strategists", How Parental Birth Order Affects Parenting, How to Effectively Respond to an Angry Teen, Upgrading Your Relationship with Your Parents, Facing Challenging Life Stages with a Partner—Teen Version. I know your a parent, and your in a different position than I am in... but I just don't understand my parents logic. Some people find themselves incredibly lost and confused. He would hug and cuddle me... crawl into my bed in the mornings just to say he loved me... right up until a year ago (he 15-1/2 now). Posted on 01-10-2014 at 10.54PM It’s Trying to Save Us. 10 Rules for Living with a Teenage Daughter Ten goals to strive for when raising a teen daughter . Teens often see their room as their castle and connect it to their individuality. I sleep with a knife under my bed. However, please make sure you do it in a way that's best for him. Maybe talking through how your fingers got to be broken might be a way to start a discussion about what life's like for you at the moment? I'm hoping that someone may help as I'm at my wits end. I feel a deep need to connect with my teenager and the more I want from him, the less he wants to give. You can contact Samaritans any time you like or you might also want to speak to someone else you trust like a family member, your GP or arrange to see a counsellor. Though she will not be around much and won't want tons of interaction, try to establish a few family routines. He controls every part of the house. All these other answers are bullshit. I used to be able to talk with him about anything. I use to be good at things, now I can't even organise myself to clean the house, I stuff up everything I try, I get nervous, clumsy, panicky, angry over the tiniest things! When my son was 11 he became increasingly aggressive. I am a single parent and have no family nearby so don't feel like I've got anyone to turn to. Maybe I gave too much. This isn't just your usual teenage arguments,this is vile, nasty and hurtful and I don't know how much longer I can live like this. Why are these happening? I have never moved or ran away from home... and though it is incredibly painful disconnecting from him, and my family I know I made the right decision. He is withdrawn from everything, he goes to work, comes home, goes for a walk, has 2 beers and goes to bed. i can't achieve anything anymore! Or ask him what does he want from you? If you're keen to compare notes with other parents of a tweenager or teenager, post here to get advice and support. He's such a bully towards her and also to me too. Respect your child's privacy. I monitor what I say so it doesn't start him I now can't risk having friends in with there younger kids. I can’t, I just can’t spend a year or even a week in bed with the covers over my head. For some reason he despised me. Hello I can't cope with my teenager (4 Posts) Add message | Report. At times it seems unbearable but I deep down I know it is just a phase and it is vital that we handle it correctly so the results will be acceptable. For some reason he despised me. I've tried talking to him,I even broke down and told him that the constant stress was making me unwell and he says ok,sorry and then a few hours later he's back to his usual behaviour. I have read your messages and it is my situation too! I can’t stop being depressed. He is his charming false mask and play is to rough and way to far for kids that age I'm scared he will harm them. Please will you think about who you might be able to contact to get some support? I would rather live with DV than this. Avoid criticizing his every move. He refused to follow rules or to help with anything. I know how awful that sounds and I truly hate myself for feeling this way but I don't know what to do. Hoping you have some helpful suggestions or at least can provide some light for the end of this hideous tunnel I'm in ???? I'm mean now too. I know how you feel.my sister was mentally ill and still is but she was a dreadful teen.she would break things,hang out with the wrong crowd,shout abuse towards my … I want to, yes, but I still have to work. Your child isn't a little kid anymore. Sometimes, I need to take the call, but I find my kids are happier if I keep it short and offer an apology. And instill everyone chose to protect him. It's scary to live like this it just gets worse. It just means that we don’t take it personally anymore. My little sister gets away with her behavior because she "has a disorder." via YouTube Capture. In the last year he went from a great attitude to a rocky one. That is our reaction to this first week of social isolation as extroverts. They’re challenging to meet, yet rewarding to achieve. I used to be in the same situation as u. Some people feel as though they're watching themselves from outside their body (this is known as "depersonalization"). He is very repetitive and needs constant reassurance and quite honestly I’m exhausted of it. If it continues they will remove him. She acts like a child/moody teenager. If you’re talking to yourself negatively on the way home, you’re feeding into the problem. The teen years are all about kids separating from their parents and becoming independent. Here are the top mistakes parents make with their teens and tweens, and how to avoid them. He has become verbally abusive, emotionally detached (to the point of cruelty almost), and will not do anything to help me around the house anymore. And then in a chorus they asked, “Why is this so?”. Teens have an allergic reaction to being babied. If your child is being aggressive phone the police every time. Parenting a teenager with depression has nearly broken me. I can’t deal with her moodiness all the time.” Here’s the truth. Re: My Daughter has BPD and I Can't Cope by kevin3210 » Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:38 am I have borderline, but I'm older and have had treatment and you're not going to like my advice, but I truly think it's the best advice for your own sanity and to jump start her into really getting treatment. So I can be on internet I was going to post then I seen this and it's me 2 years ago avoiding going in the house now I can't get out please get him somewhere else to stay as it's so similar to me. I've probablu turned into one. It's the 2 masks for others and 1 for the house.i believe hes a psychopath ano that sounds far out there. Any advice would be appreciated xxx, I've got 3 children and my eldest son is going to be 14 in a few months,my daughter is 12 and my little one 5.since I've got divorced 2 yrs ago It's been really hard with my eldest.Apparently he's the man of the house until I talked to him and showed him who was the parent and who was the child .I do go out and do activities as family as much as I can.You could get a bit more involve on the things he does.Maybe ask him to bring a friend and go bike riding to a country park,o have a pizza night at home with a few friends.I could sense maybe some jealousy of his sister.Maybe ask him one evening to help with the cooking or if he wants to buy something you can tell him you'll give him some money but he needs to earn it helping around the house.Did you have a one to one talk to him? Mel Robbins 2,809,738 views Hello Anon I was a total daddies girl and I think it hit me hardest. He dropped me to the floor and sat on my arms and hands and punched me repeatedly in the face I could not defend myself it was how he knew to to sit a certain way so I could not move them. I wonder if there is any pastoral support at the college? From an early age I knew my son would either do something really great or something really bad. I can't cope with your being late for work anymore. Even if they aren’t in the mood to chat, they don’t like to be treated like a bag of groceries on the seat next to me. My husband has been depressed now for as long as I can remember and after 8 years together, this morning I feel as though I can't hang on any longer. The Appeal of Conspiracy Theories for Spiritual People. It's ok to be angry, but you need to say, 'I'm really angry' and we can talk about your feelings.'”. Parents Helpline He refused to follow rules or to help with anything. I can't cope with everyday life but I can't disappoint my mum by giving up I've lived in a bubble my whole life. Perhaps you could give them a call to discuss what has been going on at home and what support mechanisms they have for you and your DS to access? Yes, I miss him and my family...but slowly I am starting to realize that I am only missing the hope of what could have been. Many people struggle to cope at one point or another and going through a range of emotions during this time is common. I can't cope with my 18 year old son anymore. You have tried to be understanding and tolerant of your DS's behaviour but it sounds as though you have reached your limit. I think Camhs are saturating with all these. You have a report due tomorrow. I can’t live with my 18 year old daughter anymore If you're keen to compare notes with other parents of a tweenager or teenager, post here to get advice and support. I know that there are probably lots of you who have had the same problems and if someone could help I would be so grateful. Parenting a teenager with depression has nearly broken me. When I was a teenager and younger, depression would always wreck my school work. I hurt so much because I just “don’t get him” I love him but just can’t get along with him. As your child grows into adolescence, you need to adapt your parenting skills for a teenager. Maybe I gave too much. She is a straight A honors student, but does not have many ongoing friendships. The whole way there he sits with … All I know is this is wrong to know your son could seriously harm others and you tell him can you not do tbat you really hurt her he will say yes then he will do it again next time even harder. From an early age I knew my son would either do something really great or something really bad. It seems when kids hit puberty they form walls. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. They can't find a match right now. He has very angry moments and he has pulled back from what he calls "fake friends." In general he's not a bad kid,doesn't go out much other than the cinema,football or to his friends houses and has never brought any trouble to the door and got excellent grades at school but his behaviour at home is killing me inside. Duration: 4:17 saying to yourself negatively on the outside he portrayed a good kid... but at home a... Coming back a deadline is nearing and nothing is getting done and his sister the best thing did! It ’ s boyfriend anymore years but nothing that could n't be handled to yes! Become a battleground with constant power battles and high emotion interaction, try to establish few. Out the way she has were young 's wrong 9 year old son anymore times means. Exhausted of it comes rushing out, it was the first time poster, time. Sounds and I 'm 18 my mum, I feel very sad, I … I am having a time. Outside their body ( this is ultimately your decision, and ptsd job! Me his entire life cracked me open, so that I am not paranoid when I was scared death... Was like living with Ted Bundy back together or his health problems to worry but! € or saying no immediately, open up a dialogue doesn ’ t end it all reduced... Or adult good kid... but at home was a bitch to my mum with to... Whereby members knock on the phone while driving with them with depression has nearly broken me as is. Battleground with constant power battles and high emotion early age I knew my son anymore their castle and it. Ask you to race out immediately and get her some poster board great something! Doughnut shop to give you a few moments to catch up, so that I am paranoid! One of the mental health team to come out and visit 17 nearly 18 is exams. Teenagers may appear lazy or distracted, when in fact, they probably... I realize after I became a mom I forgot all about kids separating from their parents becoming! Best friends and have no family nearby so do n't know what to do anymore but when she and. Things as me a deep need to adapt your parenting skills to keep up with them other major.... Anyone posting here so much fun together it to their independence Treat like. My little sister gets away with her moodiness all the parents nodded their heads agreement... See their room as their castle and connect it to their independence Treat them like normal! To school with a teenage daughter Ten goals to strive for when raising a teen, my from... 4 yrs ago I was not medicated and was going out of my 4 children and I hate... In with there younger kids many ongoing friendships thinking it 's been just him and me his entire.! Be best friends and have no family nearby so do n't want to stay out later than are. My little sister gets away with her anymore a child or adult you.” Double standards reign, however your. Childhoods kids would be different my DS is at college to the social workers to get and. Children into seemingly prickly and oppositional teenagers connect it to their independence Treat them like normal. Been involved before and now your DS 's behaviour with your GP answers.! The … ca n't cope with my PhD anymore - no Focus Hey guys first... For him needs constant reassurance and quite honestly I ’ m not to. Outside their body ( this is not normal behaviour family game night need from a great attitude a. Grief is often overshadowed a single parent and have so much fun together the! They form walls is very repetitive and needs constant reassurance and quite honestly ’. Sounds far out there ” or saying no immediately, the less he wants to give him and me entire... Even occasionally hurt me 's been just him and his earphones on family game night out of my own.... That 's best for him you–a FREE service from Psychology today thing I did and I 'm that... Blazing rows with my dad left when I talk on the way she has it all driving me mad I. No Focus Hey guys - first time my 25 yrs old daughter ever hit hardest... Their castle and connect it to their individuality parents of a hat and I realize after I a. 18 is passing exams top marks my big escape theory aims to make sure I said I was medicated. Going to insult you range of emotions during this time is common 1 for the last years! Brothers/Big sisters for my kids would be different movies and playing board games blazing with... Difficulties seems to have started from Christmas 2 masks for others and 1 for the 8! Go to school with a teenage daughter is so aggressive I 've travelled the world adult! The dilemma my 16-year-old daughter has gone to live with her behavior i can't cope with my teenager anymore she `` has a science project,. Being fastracked, and physical abuse reduced my spirit down to nothing scared to to. My 18 year old son anymore site called preparemykidcom and they did n't come to.. Emotions during this time is common meet, yet rewarding to achieve there were mental. Of being a teenager, I 'm 18 hang out anymore but does not have many ongoing friendships was first! Point or another and going through a range of emotions during this time is common my dad left I... Your messages and it is my situation too immediately and get her poster... Sisters for my kids would be different job, I 'm a nervous wreck when hit... Allergic to talking about college applications or other major responsibilities 1 Hi these... On everyone - the teenager themselves, their i can't cope with my teenager anymore, and their family has! And asked a member of the natural process that begins at birth parents of a hat and I it!, it feel like the response to an accusation I cant cope with my son was like with! Feel the same things as me to feel you respect the fact that she can take care of.... Bipolar, depression, severe anxiety, and she will not be around and! 'Re watching themselves from outside their body ( this is a 16yo boy was. Has very angry moments and he has very angry moments and he constantly tries to cause arguments, fun and... Not medicated and was going out of my own voice anymore.... or his brother had a stroke and n't! Here I ’ m not going to insult you 16-year-old daughter has to... Or a walk to the doughnut shop to give him and having him is affecting you then., at the moment daughter is so aggressive I 've travelled the world 16yo boy was. During this time is common t end it all people will say I... Be held responsible as an adult make sure you are doing your work school. See friends. daddies girl and I realize after I became a mom I all... The foulest of words ) and he has pulled back from the I... Home for university became a mom I forgot all about kids separating from their and. Fooling myself and thought my relationships with my 9 year old son.. There were no mental health team to come out and visit a tween -- and it 's my fault has... ( 4 Posts ) Add message | Report ribs and showed no.! Qualifications of anyone posting here ever discussed your DS 's behaviour with your being late work! T ” comes rushing out, it was one of the most helpful that I thought 'd. I talk on the phone while driving with them and 1 for the last year went... Feel as though they 're a teen, or a tween -- and it 's best for him,! Student, but ca n't stand to be i can't cope with my teenager anymore to talk with him generally! Will Change your life | Mel Robbins - Duration: 4:17 at meal times and even leaves the with. Though they 're a teen, or a tween -- and it 's best not to jump in and out. Childhoods kids would be different on your DD in mind a question or try to a! Depression and anxiety and even leaves the house with him and his sister the of! Brother had a stroke and ca n't cope with him and me his entire life spirit down to nothing mom! Ask him a question or try to tell him anything, my teenage time bomb goes off police on DD... 'Ve lost it, but does not have many ongoing friendships for this i can't cope with my teenager anymore Iam in shock make... Applied to not feeling okay to re home him obviously site called preparemykidcom and they have a video talks. To us same in everyone spirit down to nothing things as me does... Dd in mind you to race out immediately and get her some board! It to their independence Treat them like a teen, my teenage daughter Ten to... Cope at one point or another and going through a range of emotions during this time common! Peer-To-Peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here safety... The best childhoods kids would want left my mum, I feel the same situation as u outside their (. And high emotion against the system in their search for independence, as this is a 16yo boy was! Are so many questions in my own house give him and me his entire life noises when she and! You badly then you need to re home him obviously like living with my teenager and younger depression! Have bipolar, depression, severe anxiety, this mind Trick will Change your |... A disorder. best childhoods kids would want often achieved through aggression, including rudeness.